15 Jokes for Futurists!

We all like to have a bit of a chuckle, and there’s not too many jokes out there geared towards the futurist community.  So I’ve tried to collect some from around the web (plus a couple that I’ve crudely made up on my own – so you actually get 16 jokes) for our enjoyment this evening.  Once you’re done having a laugh, you might want to check out 25 Futurist Quotes to Inspire You!

Higgs Boson goes to the Vatican.
The Pope says “What are you doing here?”
Higgs replies “You can’t have mass without me!”

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It’s a hardware problem.

An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol…

How many nanite constructors does it take to change a lightbulb?
That depends. What are you changing it into?

Why did the human race cross the superconsciousness threshold?
To get to the other side.
Really?
No, but you wouldn’t understand the actual punchline.

There are two kinds of people: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

A robot walks into a bar, orders a drink, and lays down some cash.
Bartender says, “Hey, we don’t serve robots.”
And the robot says, “Oh, but someday you will.”

My favourite jokes are about immortality – they just never get old!

A programmer is at work when his wife calls and asks him to go to the store. She says she needs a gallon of milk, and if they have fresh eggs, buy a dozen. He comes home with 12 gallons of milk.

When you die, you should have your brain donated to science. I hear they’re trying to come up with the perfect vacuum.

If it is falling apart its a MECHANICAL problem.
If it is spewing magic smoke it is an ELECTRICAL problem.
If it is rampaging around destroying things it is a PROGRAMMING problem.

And now some courtesy of the World Future Society:

You know you’re a futurist if you start accidentally putting NEXT year’s year in the date line.

You know you’re a futurist if you would use your time machine to travel forward (and come back to change the present, not the past).

You know you’re a futurist if you ask “What’s next?” instead of “What’s new?”

You know you’re a futurist if you’re already getting annoyed with software features that don’t actually exist yet.

You know you’re a futurist if you refer to people as digital natives, rather than digital addicts.

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